If you want my business, I’m going to have to get to know you.  It’s important that I like you (or at least that I don’t dislike you), and I absolutely have to be able to trust you.  That feeling of Know, Like and Trust isn’t going to come from a cold call, it’s not going to come from a marketing brochure and it’s not going to come from you just handing me your business card at a networking meeting.

It turns out that Diana Ross had it right a long time ago:

“You can’t hurry love, No you just have to wait.  She said love don’t come easy – it’s a game of give and take.

You can’t hurry love, No, you just have to wait.  You got to trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes”

But if you look at how most people approach networking, it’s the exact opposite.  Quick handshake, impersonal small talk and a quick rundown of what you do.  A rush relationship just isn’t going to cut it. 

Effective networking isn’t about just showing up and it isn’t about the number of cards you can collect (or hand out).  You’re not going to connect with everyone at an event – and if you don’t take things slow, you’re not going to connect with anyone (at least not in a positive way).

You have to think big picture!  The big goal is to develop customers and referral partners who love you…or at least love doing business with you.  Getting them to fall in love takes time and effort and often that starts with meeting someone at a networking event.  However if you try to rush through that first meeting, if you skip the getting to know you phase – all you’re going to do is annoy and alienate the people around you.

Most successful business owners would agree that some form of networking is critical to their business, which is why it’s surprising that it’s continually done so poorly!

Remember…it’s a game of give and take.  At a networking event, you are simply starting the process of building a relationship with a small number of the right people.  Really connecting with 1 person who can actually help your business is a lot better than exchanging business cards with 20 other people.  Spend your time finding the right person or two (no more than 3 or 4) at an event and start building a genuine relationship.

You’ll be focusing on the other person.  Get them to talk.  Ask great open-ended questions that they’ll be excited to answer.  Be interested in what they have to say.  Ask them what they need…not in terms of your products or services, but in terms of their success…and then try to help give it to them.  In short…you’re working to become their friend.

If it’s a promising contact, then set up a follow-up meeting, connect with them on LinkedIn.  Keep looking for ways to help them.  Make a great introduction for them.  Point them towards a strong resource – do something to positively start building a relationship.  Make sure you’re following all 10 Steps of Effective Networking (especially the follow-up)

It can be  a lot of work and it’s an ongoing effort but the payoff of building a close network of great resources who will drive referrals to your business is worth it.  Imagine getting 50% or even 80% of the business you need from referrals!  It all starts with taking your time (not hurrying) and finding ways for the right people to start knowing, liking and trusting you.

What are you doing to help people get to know you?  Why would they like you?  Am I way off base here?  I’d love to hear your thoughts – share them in the comments below.

Shawn Kinkade  Kansas City Business Coach

Photo by orangeacid

  photo by jeffsmallwood

If you do much networking, then you’ll quickly realize that everyone starts to blend in…which does absolutely nothing for you.  Garet King – a branch manager at CoreFirst Bank here in Kansas City shared the following article with me that does a great job of addressing this situation – take it away Garet:

If you pay attention to the conversations you are a part of and that happen around you, you will notice that we are all saying the same things. We talk to people on a daily basis. Collectively, we talk to a lot of people on a daily basis and most of these conversations happen in the same way. These dialogues may be about the weather or how the kids are doing. Conversations may drift towards a golf game or other sporting events. Comments are made about weekend plans or future vacations. On fewer occasions, people will open up about their life. Regardless, almost all of these conversations start the same way. “What’s new?”

“What’s new,” is an opportunity to talk about anything that you are working on. Whether this person is an advocate or acquaintance, they are opening the door and most of us waste the opportunity. The typical responses are, “same old, same old,” or “just work.” If you are having a challenging day, “same crap, different day,” might come out of your mouth or, “not much,” if you’re feeling indifferent. Regardless, these answers are a waste of a golden opportunity to create another connection.

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  photo by x-ray delta one

Does your marketing suck?  Wouldn’t you like to strap on your mind control helmet and make your target market sit up and listen to all the great things you could do for them?

There are times when marketing feels like black magic…or maybe rocket science, but the reality is there are proven and well understood principles of marketing that, if followed, will get the right people raising their hands and asking to learn more about your product or service.

It’s not a silver bullet – these principles are fairly easy to understand, but they can be difficult to actually put into practice.  The good news is that you don’t have to be perfect off the bat – most of your competitors aren’t very good at marketing either (just look around at a lot of the marketing targeting you these days).  With a little bit of knowledge and effort, you’ve got a great opportunity to stand out and take control of your marketplace!

What are these tried and true principles?  Let’s take a look:

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  photo by Terry Johnston

Trust may be the most important thing you can develop when it comes to your business success.

If people like you they’ll listen to you, but if they trust you they’ll do business with you.   – Zig Ziglar

There are lots of ingredients when it comes to success, but trust is one that permeates everything you do.  If you don’t have trust, you’re not going to be in business very long.  And these days, with access to the internet, camera phones and 24×7 media – trust, credibility and authenticity are more important than ever.

How does trust impact your business?  Let’s take a look:

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   photo by renaissancechambara

Remember the days of the good ol’ rolodex?

Only 7 years ago Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter didn’t exist (LinkedIn started in May of 2003, Facebook in February of 2004 and Twitter in March of 2006).  Now there are more than 400 Million people on Facebook, 105 Million registered users on Twitter and 65 million on LinkedIn with more joining every single day.

It’s safe to say that Social Media and Social Networks have become mainstream…yet there are still a lot of people asking what the point is.  Just in the last week, I’ve had 2 business owners ask me what the point of LinkedIn really is – they both have profiles and they’ve been using it for awhile, but nothing’s happening.

I don’t have any hard data to back this up, but it’s a valid question for a lot of business owners – “I know I’m supposed to be on Social Media sites like LinkedIn, but now that I’ve set up my profile nothing happens – does this stuff really work?”

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